A BREEZE OF LACED THOUGHTS...

WHEN LIFE TAKES TURNS

-it takes two people to bring life on earth, it would require much more than two hundred lifetimes to thank them for it-

I still remember the look on my father’s face, the one that bore into me and left a mark so deep, so potent, that I remember it even now, after nearly 10 years. But, then I hadn’t understood what had hurt him so much.
All I did was speak back at him when he scolded me - trying to put me on the right path. Well, it is another matter that I had not just spoken back, but I had done so with a level of harshness that was uncalled for. I spoke back like I was addressing an enemy, and had done so with so much ferocity, that it surprised my father and also my mother, who as usual was trying to bring peace to the situation.

Just like a lot of things that I did and said at that age, I don’t remember what led me to this regretful action, even though I distinctly remember that it was just the usual, normal reprimand that a parent is entitled to dish out to his child, that too his first born! But the point is, at that moment my ferocity, my immaturity and my age (hormones going bonkers) had led me to shout back at the very man who loved me and cared for me with everything he could garner. At the end of all this hoop-la, the revelation was my father’s reaction. With that look, which portrayed nothing but pain and anguish, he came up to me and stroked my hair and told me,
‘Now you won’t understand. It’ll take you time, but then that’s okay. I’m there with you. Don’t worry son.’

I looked on as he walked away, still working my not-yet-teen brain frantically to understand why he was so hurt. After all, I was just trying to ‘reason’ it out with him. Mom pulled me towards her, made me sit beside her and started the usual post-fight advice session. And without caring to break the tradition, I kept arguing my stand vehemently. I was a very stubborn kid you see. Finally, she throws her arms into the air, sighs weakly, and tells me
‘You will understand why Dad got hurt when you have a family of your own. One day, God forbid, if your son talks back at you like this, you will understand.’
She wrapped up the session with another round of temper controlling methods, which this time included what my fourth grade teacher had advised – when you begin to get angry and are worried about blowing your top over, think of the sun licking an ice cream.
One word – funny!!!

But my mother’s warning had not ceased to come true. In fact it came even before the time she had warned me of. As I’m not yet a father, let alone married, it must be amusing for you all to know how I got the ‘bolt from the blue’. Stand back…drum roll…
Today, I stand before my father and mother fully understanding the implications of my actions 10 years back, and this is all thanks to my sister!

You see, having siblings can be quite a pleasure, but also interlinked with pain! My mother’s warnings had come true when my sister tried to ‘reason’ something out with me. And, you guessed right. She too falls into the same age group to which I belonged when I had tried ‘reasoning’ it with Dad.

She had the same ferocity, though a little mild (due to the difference in gender probably) coupled with the same mocking, arrogant look when I tried correcting her. I was left aghast seeing her reaction. It brought me so much of pain and anguish that I was left speechless for quite sometime. In that short period of time, everything that had happened between me and Dad 10 years back passed through my mind. It dawned upon me and I understood with full clarity as to why my father had felt hurt, and how much of pain I had inflicted upon him then. I sat back and thought clearly as to what my mother told me in the post-fight session. Yes, it was all clear to me now. I smiled - a smile of understanding and new found wisdom.

I called out to my sister, asked her to come over, which she reluctantly did. I tried to put my hand on her shoulder, and calm her. No, I couldn’t bring myself to do it. I remembered very clearly the words my father had rendered to me in similar fashion, and all I wanted to do was the same for my sister. But I couldn’t get to open my mouth. I couldn’t get myself to pat her, comfort her. Even though I understood the situation and her actions, I was not strong enough to forgive her and soothe the situation. I was weak.
And now, I realized the greatest power that my parents possessed, what all parents possess – the power to forgive. Their ability to understand the situation, and forgive the mistakes committed by us, and to finally keep their individual feelings aside and still comfort us – it is an unmistakably powerful act of strength of character.

The most godly act by a man and woman is considered to be them rendering a new life; introducing it to earth. But I wonder whether it is this?
Isn’t the act of caring, nourishing and growing that very life, their own offspring, into something that we all term as a responsible human being, the more godly act? Yes, I consider it so, because God had not only created us, but he also loves us, and looks after us. This is exactly what parents do.

Many a times during our growing stages, knowingly or unknowingly we inflict upon our parents a great deal of pain. We can just picture the horrendous situation – a kid less than half their age (and size) shouting back at them, not obeying them. For an egotist, there would be nothing more irritating than this. Our parents are also humans and hence all have egos, which fortunately come in many shapes and sizes. But how come our acts of stupidity go on without bothering their egos?

There is some level of change that occurs in a man and woman when they realize that they have become a parent. They become more responsible; their protective instincts take over from there, and also their maturity shows. Why all this is needed is comprehensible from the various situations that we put them through.
At a time when they have to manage their professional lives, their marital issues (if any), their social circles, and other commitments, they also deal with us. And they not only put up with us; they love us and sacrifice for us.

They make compromises – so much that it would be insane to list them out. They take decisions, giving full priority to us and don’t even bother to remember that we might have been the reason they couldn’t shift to another city for a better job. We might have been the reason why they couldn’t get that car which they had longed for. We might have been the reason why they couldn’t refurnish the living room.
But not once would they think or remind us, or even themselves for that matter, that it was for us. And for God’s sake, I don’t even think I could do justice to their sacrifices even if I write a book on them. No, that wouldn’t suffice.

There is a reason when I say, and I’m sure many of you would agree with me, that the two most important people in my life are my parents! And this goes for all of you who agree with me. What can we give them in return? I don’t know if there is anything we could truly repay them with. They smile and beam with pride when they see us lead successful lives. They say that’s what they have lived for all their lives. Could anyone or anything be any more Godly - two people, who keep away all their personal ambitions and goals, and live everyday to bring that smile on our faces.

There is very little that we can do for them in return. What they gave us is not something we can repay with a thank you, or with a bank full of money, or even with a successful life alone. What every parent does for their kids is way above all materialistic thing we can ever imagine of. We can’t truly repay them. I don’t think any form would suffice. So the least, and the best we can do for them is bring a smile on their faces; and work hard to keep it there.

My words don’t do justice to their great deeds, and when I started writing this, I didn’t expect it to. Nothing we do would ever do justice to the greatness our parents portray.
I want to write more, but there’s this feeling at the back of my head which says ‘Dude, enough. It’s never going to be sufficient…’
“Mom…Dad…I salute you…”